First Came Duty
by NoirSkye
Summary: Kaidan attempts to arrange some private time for Shepard and him.
1. Chapter 1

_**First Came Duty**_

"I think you should see this." Kaidan said.

He used his omni-tool to transfer and combine the latest intel reports from the Alliance to the data pad. Shepard hated that duty planned to separate them again. This time Kaidan was leading a small compliment of marines for some training exercises.

"Silence seems to pay well these days." He continued. He seemed irritated with his new found fame. As Shepard stepped forward as the Savior of the Citadel, Kaidan became the face of the Alliance. He was the example of Alliance might and intelligence.

The Alliance had a harder time claiming Shepard solely as their own because of her Spectre status. She had brought down the rogue Spectre Saren and uncovered his plot to destroy the Citadel. Kaidan, on the other hand, was purely Alliance. Add that he was a biotic. There were rumors that the Alliance planned on starting another Biotic program. They were interested in creating the next generation of biotic soldier based to the model of Lieutenant Alenko.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Shepard looked back at Kaidan.

He continued. "A boat load of armor upgrades are on the way."

"That makes everything better." Kaidan handed her a data pad. She allowed her hand to slowly drag over his hand. A little too long. Careful. They both had to be so careful now that all eyes of the galaxy on the crew.

"Garrus, Tali and I will drop planet side to get more of a visual. Something down there is interfering with communication channels." Shepard scanned the information. "They can't be serious here. The Alliance doesn't believe there's a pattern here." The endless reports began to bore her.

"In their eyes two missing ships doesn't create a pattern." Kaidan said. "Politics at play. It was rumored that the nephew of some high ranking officer was on one the ships. So, they would like for us to check it out. No hurry. Other things take priority, right."

Shepard hurried to catch up with Kaidan as headed into the elevator. He held the door for her as she read more info. Nothing new here. She scrolled down.

Then an animated version of Kaidan popped onto the pad's screen with a bunch of realistic looking red roses. The character spoke with his voice, but the lips movements were slightly off. "Hope this makes your day brighter, as you have often brighten mine."

"Kaidan." His blushing was turning into a smile.

"I had to do something for my special lady." Kaidan leaned back against the wall. "I should have done something before our night before Ilos. But, Regs, Reapers, and Rogue Vis. It a little difficult to date and save the galaxy at the same time."

Quickly she kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks."

"The Alliance planned a few training exercises for the marines to keep them sharp. Are you free for a few days?" The elevator opened. "I've already programmed all the parameters of the exercise."

Kaidan acknowledged the Rec office as they both headed towards the makeshift armory located down there. They arrived to see a nice selection of guns spread out before them. He placed his hand on her lower back reaching past her to pick up the shotgun in the back. "I want you there."

This sounded promising. "For what?" She hated that her voice got that girly purr when she thought about Kaidan positioning himself over her. She put the data pad down.

"To adjust then set the difficultly levels. If it's challenging for you, it will be a nightmare for them. I'm also interested in seeing if the VI programming can keep up with you."

"Setting the bar high aren't we?"

"The reapers are coming, Shepard. We might not have much say with the Council or Alliance. But I'm making sure everyone under your command has the best training possible. The Reapers are still out there."

"I'm thankful to have you watching my back." Shepard lifted her hand to touch his cheek. She stopped herself. Deciding to concentrate on the weapons on the table. "It will give them a chance to get familiar with all the new toys the Alliance sent us."

"And we can use it as a legitimate reason to get away together." He added.

Shepard looked at the weapon running her fingers along it before picking it up. "This has been modified to use heavy ammo."

Kaidan sighed. "Shepard."

"But I'm suppose to accompany Garrus and Tali." She couldn't resist him while he was being so charming. Some alone time together was just what she needed. "I'll think of something."

"You always do."

Garrus's timing was becoming as bad as Joker's. "Will Kaidan head to the surface with us?" He stood there looking at Kaidan. Then Shepard. Then back a Kaidan. "I know you didn't select him for your team this time."

"My marines won't head down until you discover and secure what's scrambling communications." Kaidan gave Shepard that look. "I'm heading to the training grounds early to make sure everything is prepared for their arrival."

"I'm going to run through the simulation to make sure it's safe." Shepard knew she wasn't fooling Garrus. "Kaidan will check the parameters."

"Right, calibrations. Not a problem Shepard." Garrus chimed in before leaving. "I'll make sure Tali's ready. We'll come find you if we get into trouble."

Shepard turned to leave. She was getting sloppy. Very sloppy.

Kaidan stopped her. "And don't bring your spectre guns. Standard issue only."

"Oh. Are you're giving me the opportunity to handle your weapon too?"

Kaidan chuckled before clearing his throat. "Yeah, I'm going to show you what standard issue can do."

"Really?"

"If you think you can handle the pressure."

"Lieutenant, I do some of my best work under pressure."

"I can vouch for you on that one. Personally. Ma'am. "

Back in her cabin, Shepard tore through everything she had to find something to wear. _He said, "Don't forget to bring something sexy, Shepard." I'm making a fool out of myself. Sexy. Nothing says sexy like dress blues. _There wasn't a v-neckline to be found amongst any of her casual wear. She found a boat neck, long-sleeved slate blue dress that stopped just below her knees. _This will have to do._

Kaidan was a rare breed. His quiet strength helped smooth her roughness. That was why she for the first time was willing to risk her career on a relationship. Her ego enjoyed the fact that the hottest guy in the Alliance wanted her. Not a sexual conquest. But a partner. Maybe something more.

_I can't believe I don't own one pair of heels. He's going to laugh at me. _She threw a few pairs of the sexiest underwear she had into her pack. Grabbed her cleanest pair of non scuffed combat boots and rushed out her cabin.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: First Came DutyAuthor: blackcherryangelGame: Mass EffectCharacters: Blakely Shepard & Kaidan AlenkoDisclaimer: I don't own any of these wonderful characters. All are the property of Bioware.

As Shepard stepped into the empty mess she realized there was something very stimulating about sneaking off to have a lot of play with her work for a change. The soldiers were on their shifts so there was very little activity. Only two men sat around a table checking out the extranets. She had come to expect Kaidan to be there working. _He must already be at the Mako._ She took notice of Kaidan after Doctor Chakwas told her that he sat at her bedside for the entire 15 hours she was out after Eden Prime. After a few slip ups and one showdown where he demanded that she choose between Liara and himself, Shepard recognized that Kaidan was interested in her. No contest between the two. Kaidan refused to act on his attraction. It was for the best. If Kaidan came on to her too strong she would have dismissed him immediately.

"Message for you, Commander." Joker voice interrupted her thoughts. The Alliance knew better than to be pushy. Shepard was helping the Alliance out as a favor to Admiral Hackett.

"What now?" She wondered out loud. She thought she'd have the support of the Alliance for her quest to stop the Reapers. However, the Alliance made it clear that they agreed with the Council. Saren acted alone and Sovereign was just and advance warship.

"Nothing horrible." Joker said. "Well, maybe. It's your mother. The channel is a variant of the one she used last time."

"Is the line secure?" She asked.

"Yep. All taken care of."

"Patch her through to my room, Joker." Shepard turned around and headed back into her room. She didn't bother putting her pack down because this conversation would not last long. Her recent history as Hero of the Blitz then Savior of the Citadel cause a strain on her relationship with her father. Her mother loved her success, but she couldn't be bothered to make it the Memorial for the Fallen to mark Shepard and her team saving the Council from Saren's attack. _What did she want now? _She hoped her dad hadn't gotten worse.

"Mother?" She opened a side pouch and stuffed one of her boots into it one then the other. Her family had never been close. Every four years her family ended up in a different place. Eventually, her mother got out of the military to raise her full time, but Shepard never believed that it was by her choice.

"I'm glad I caught you before you headed to the base." Her voice held a overly sweet tone which was the opposite of who her mother was. "Will you make it home this year? We missed your birthday."

There was silence. Her mother understood perfectly how the military worked. So, she couldn't have expected her to drop everything and catch the first shuttle home. Something else was going on here. However, Shepard had more important things to deal with at the moment.

"You're always somewhere helping people." Her mother continued. "I assumed the Alliance has you doing something, but there is such a thing as shore leave. You need to use it." Her mother added. "I'm so proud of all you accomplished, but when are you coming home?"

"My mission isn't over yet. I'm a Spectre now. I defend all of Citadel space not just human interest. Things are going on out here that I can't discuss with you."

"Did you get your gift?"

"It was lovely." She planned on wearing the jeweled bracelet tonight.

"This last batch of drugs seems to be working. I'll keep you posted on your father." _Was that resentment she heard in her mother voice? _"You were bred for greatness, dear. It's in your DNA." She was glad her mother couldn't see the change in her features. Her mother gave up her military career after getting married and having a baby. Her father didn't want her mother to reenlist again anyway. Mother reminded her often that she ended her career because her father was rising in the ranks so quickly. Then a failed mission changed their lives forever.

"You say that every time, mother." Shepard said. "Tell dad I love him." She switched frequencies. "Joker, kill the transmission.."

"Remind me I want an invite to the family reunion." Joker said.

"Joker!"

"Okay sheesh. Killing transmission."

"I will." Her mother said. "Next time I'll call when your father is still here. I know he would . . ." The line went dead.

Kaidan was in his usual place when she exited her room this time. "Ready Commander."

"Yes. My mother wanted to chat."

"How's your dad?"

"Stable. New meds. They seem to work fine." Shepard wasn't comfortable discussing her family, but if Kaidan wanted a relationship with her he need to know about her family too. Dating didn't come with a manual. So on this exercise, Kaidan had her at an advantage. She'd never been in the position to date anyone. She was deployed so much it was hard to have a relationship with someone who wasn't in the military. And the higher she rose in rank the more she was unwilling to risk it. Also, she didn't want to be thought of as one those women who slept their way to the top.

"That's good to hear." Kaidan said.

"My mother wants me to come home for a visit."

"Nice. But, that's not happening."

"Duty first." Shepard said.

"We're Marines."

"Sacrifice is what we do." She continued. "Besides when I'm finally granted shore leave, we're going to some remote planet resort where we can get lost for days and focus on each other. I need some time alone with you."

"Well, I hoped we'd head to Earth. See some of the historical sites. Remember what we are fight to save."

"Seems like you have somewhere specific in mind to take me."

"Actually, I do."

Kaidan rounded the corner towards the elevator. Quickly, Shepard gave his ass a slap. "Damn soldier." She whispered into his ear. "What have you been feeding that thing?" _What am I doing?_ She stopped to think how highly inappropriate it was. What if one of the soldiers got up to leave and saw her. She turned back to make sure both men were still at the table.

Her hesitation was costly. Kaidan rolled her onto the floor. Her pack slid to the side and she found herself pinned under Kaidan which wasn't a bad position. She went to raise up, but her a pain shot through her arm. She couldn't move. Kaidan had her wrist in a pressure point grip against before she could before she could speak.

"Hey..." She started to say as his mouth swallowed whatever the rest of the words were going to be. She moved upwards towards him, but he pressed her back down. He kissed her one more suppressing any response she would have made. Shepard allowed her body to relax enjoying a brief moment of pleasure between them. She used her free hand to pull Kaidan's body on hers. She felt pressure, but their armor prevented the contact she craved.

"I don't know if it is hand to hand combat for them or a mating ritual." Kaidan gave her a smirk. "The way Garrus spoke of it I couldn't be sure, but it is effective."

"Kaidan, if someone comes."

"No one is coming yet."

Shepard looked at him. There wasn't time for this. She chided herself for enjoying this too much. Kaidan's lips slid along the scar on her cheek. Shepard tried to free herself again only to have a throbbing pulse shot down her arm. The pain was annoying more than anything else. However, one wrong twist and she would be in trouble.

Suddenly, he stopped. "I'm going to have to remember that move later tonight." He helped her to her feet.

"Oh, you will pay for that later." Shepard said getting up off the floor. Kaidan picked up her pack and tossed it to her.

"Promise?" He chuckled.

On the elevator ride down, his hand found hers. Their fingers intertwined. She tugged his hand then brought it close to her heart. He looked at her with a wanting that broke through every barrier she had built up over a decade. He was always there for her. She couldn't help but be so proud of Kaidan. Shepard didn't know what she'd do without him.

"You're worried?"

"It's only going to get harder, Kaidan. How are we going to prove to the Council that the Reaper threat exists?"

"Anderson believes us."

"One vote can't override the Council's decision." She said.

"You're a Spectre. You can continue to look into this if you want. I know you want to."

"But the Alliance has us chasing down Geth. And if I don't continue to play nice with the Alliance what's to stop them from breaking up my team." Kaidan's confidence in her gave her the strength to do what was necessary when personal doubts in herself flared up. "The Alliance only has us doing this to keep me from sounding the alarm about the Reapers. Anything to keep me from the Reapers."

"Your team doesn't answer to the Alliance." He said.

"But you do." Shepard waited for his response. There was none. Kaidan took her into his arms holding her as best he could with the armor and packs. Shepard snuggled into his embrace. _This is home. I hope we are forever._

"I'm going to make this work between us." He said.

The elevator came to a stop. Time to end the romantic moment. Shepard let go of Kaidan focusing her mind on the mission. She had to give Tali strict orders that they were to remove the threat. Intact if possible, so the engineers could examine it. If there was no way to remove it, then destroy the target. No planet exploration with a team of two. Yet wasn't the reason she was going to the base was so that at last she could have some intimate time with Kaidan? Shepard realized her life got more complicated with each passing day.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: First Came Duty: part 3Author: blackcherryangelGame: Mass EffectCharacters: Blakely Shepard, Kaidan Alenko, Garrus and TaliDisclaimer: I don't own any of these wonderful characters. All are the property of Bioware.

Blakely Shepard was three slaps away from losing her mind and no one knew it. She'd lived by the motto of doing what was right the right way no matter what. Things were no longer simply black and white. The full impact of that didn't hit her until now. She trusted Garrus and Tali to get the job done. She was within her rights as commander to tell her team to do the job. Her job was to protect all of Galactic space. However, the Council, the Alliance, Udina refused to admit the threat of the Reapers was real. That stupidity was making it very difficult for her to do her job.

"Ready." Kaidan said."

"I've been in meetings and giving reports for the past week. A little acrtion is what I need right now."

The door opened. Kaidan grabbed both their packs and headed off to the Mako. She looked at the Mako. It had to be replace four times since she in charge on the Normandy. The Alliance didn't mind because they weren't in use much any more. However som number cruncher somewhere had to frown everything she sent a request for the vehicle to be replaced.

Things were out of Blakely's hands. The Normandy was hers. She was sure of her ability to take command. That wasn't the issue. There were so many trappings of the being in charge. She was already making decision that she wouldn't have dared use in the past. Her knack for staying alive in unbelievable circumstances made her a unique weapon for the Alliance. Originally, she was on the path to become the youngest Admiral in Alliance history, but they came up with a better plan. They were determined Shepard would become the first human Spectre. The Alliance needed leverage to get its seat on the Council. Fate offered up the perfect opportunity when Saren's indoctrination cause him to be a slave to Sovereign.

"Tali," Shepard acknowledged the Quarian. Tali took her special tools from one container and put them in another case. Shepard thought some seemed too outdated to be of any use. The collection of the things she had picked up during their travels stood out amongst the stuff she had with her when the first met. Tension filled the air as she made her way to the Mako.

Funny how the things Kaidan hated about Garrus were thought to be adorable in her even though he called her on her crap in private every time. Garrus was suppose to return to C-Sec. That's what Kaidan thought. Garrus had no intention of going anywhere. He was still here part of Shepard's team and Kaidan didn't understand why.

How much of her would remain after this war was over. Blakely never cared before. Complete your mission with a few causalities as possible and move on to the next. It was easy when you weren't invested in your future. Kaidan told her that night he didn't have a future without her. Her core told her she would survive without Kaidan in her life. There was something in her brain reminding her she did to build a future with him. Only two people in her entire life ever saw her as a woman before a soldier. And one of those people was dead.

"This is a simple enough mission but you two will be one man down." Shepard announced to her team. "From what the Alliance has told us it a simple recovery mission. Find what's out there causing the communication glitches, secure it and bring it back on the Normandy for testing. They thought they made a complete sweep of the area, but this was missed somehow."

"Understood Shepard." Tali answered.

"Seems easy enough." Garrus added.

As they loaded into the Mako, thoughts filled Shepard's mind on what was to be a routine mission. Her life got more complicated with each passing day. Her mother frowned on her putting her career in jeopardy. _Kaidan isn't the man for you. _Her mother told her. _You need to find someone who is your equal. _The only reason she never left her father was she couldn't admit that she got it wrong.

Then there was her night with Kaidan when both of them finally stopped playing by the rules and took comfort in each other. She needed Kaidan that night. It wasn't just sex. What her team was planning to do was crazy. His believing in her gave her the power to do the impossible. They didn't have a chance to be together again like that night. This was their chance.

Shepard frowned when she saw where she had to sit. "We've had a three man crew for so long on missions that I'm not use to sitting in this seat."

"Technically you're the passenger Kaidan. Maybe you should be in the jump seat." Garrus said.

"Shepard will you be drive the Mako?" Tali asked.

"The Commander isn't allowed to drive since the incident on Trelyn." Garrus joked.

"I didn't roll the Mako on purpose." Shepard snapped back.

Garrus laugh rang out like a siren.

Tali gasped. "You did not." Her tone filled with disgust not believing Shepard could do any wrong. Turning towards Kaidan, Tali gestured with her hands. "There is no way Shepard could have."

"You weren't there." Kaidan turned his back on them all so they wouldn't see the grin forming on his face.

Shepard felt her heartbeat speed up. _I see you, Silly._ It felt good to be in love. Love? Blakely admitted to herself that she did love Kaidan. She wanted to have a normal life and be free and tell the world. Kaidan didn't even know her true feelings. It's possible he did. Her courage to express herself failed. If he knew for a fact that she loved him, then it gave him power over her. She never gave up her power. She would wait to tell him. It's good to keep the guy guessing.

"That thresher maw would have taken us out if I didn't get us out of there."

Things were returning to normal, but normal on the Normandy was different than on any other frigate.

"Who's driving?." Shepard said.

"I got it covered, Commander" Kaidan climbed into the driver's seat

Shepard turn to Garrus. "You man the guns."

Shepard settled back as comfortable as she could. Everything was different such a short time ago. It felt good to be on team a mission again. There was too many other things pulling on her time. The meetings were the real chore. The Council allowed few meeting now. They didn't want to make any new decision regarding galactic issues until humanity had its representative. And there was the push to put Anderson on the council seat. Shepard was expected to grease the palms of opposition.

She spent this time to catch up with Tali. She hadn't really talked to her since she returned from the Citadel.

"I've done all the practice sims I can, Shepard. My scores are improving. I've even constructed some minor turrets on my own. I can easily program the guns to react to the and take out any preprogrammed target."

"Turrets can be hacked. I don't see us using them." Kaidan said.

"It's a viable method of defense."

"That's not the point Tali. It's not wise to rely totally on technology for anything. It is just a tool."

Kaidan, I don't need to be lectured on the good and evil of technology. I was just bring up a point that I . . . it could be done more efficiently that way.

"ETA to drop point is about 5 minutes, Commander." Joker spoke over the intercom.

The sense of dropping freefall made Blakely want to throw up every time. She loved space. Heights gave you a perspective on things that few got to experience. It was falling that she couldn't deal with. The lack of control. In spite of all humanity's achievements, man couldn't fly by his own power. When you fall you're forced to rely on something other that yourself thing go wrong.

They hit the ground without much shake up. The sensor beeped loudly, but the target was still unable to be seen. Maybe it was buried in the think layer of dirt.

"Picking up anything Tali?"

"The target has been located, but I'm unable to get a fix on the size or shape"

Shepard knew that there had to be another reason they were sent here. The signal had been located and there wasn't any trouble so far. Alliance really only wanted the to sweep the area and make sure there wasn't anything dangerous that they left behind. Garrus and Tali were capable of handling that.

Kaidan brought the Mako to a halt in front of the base. The vehicle lurched forward before coming to a complete stop. Garrus hopped up and went to release that latch so they could exit. "Let them do it." Kaidan kept his voice low. They can call for back up if needed. "

"I can do this" Tali said.

Shepard made her way to the hatch. Garrus stood there watching his mandibles flaring in and out.

"Your weapons?" Garrus asked.

"I don't want to go into that."

"Are you sure you know what you're doing? Kaidan is more by the book that you. So, you're not perfection after all. I knew there was a reason I joined up with you."

Having a relationship wasn't on her agenda Kaidan was complex. His quiet reserve keep him in the shadows. He was her lover one could he be consider a lover they'd only done it once. Well multiple times in one night. Yes lovers. He has her confidant bodyguard right hand. This was too much. when she happened to fall in love with Kaidan. There the thought was so clear in her head. But could she ever give voice to the feelings within that she knew were so true.

"Should Tali and I drive around the planet a few time to give you a Kaidan a chance to um mate?" Garrus continued.

"Should I tie you up and leave you outside Executor Pallin's office?"

"Anything but that. Don't worry I can keep a secret."

"Fine. Let's go, Alenko."

"Garrus knows."

"We've got at most 48 hours together. I don't want to waste it talking about whether Garrus knows or doesn't know the Lieutenant is sexing his commander."

"So, you want to give the crew something to gossip about."

"That's the plan." Kaidan said as he removed their packs from storage. "But no one will know unless you tell them."

"Gossip isn't my thing."

They stepped away from the vehicle as it started up again. Kaidan smiled at her. "Let's get inside and have our date before they come back." He kissed her. "Finally, some uninterrupted time with you. No pressures. Just a little special time for us."

"Unless something happens. What do you think is really going on here?"

"I feel it too. Something's off here. If we're lucky, it will just be the Alliance spying on itself. And someone will be severely reprimanded for not being through enough in hiding the bugs."

"Yeah." Shepard kicked rocks as she watched the Mako roll off into the distance. "But when has luck ever been on my side."


	4. Chapter 4

This wasn't her cabin.

This wasn't her bed.

This wasn't even her shower and yet Blakely was here jeopardizing Kaidan's career instead of leading her team to destroy the probe that disrupted communication channels. It felt wrong to be sneaking off, but this was their only chance to be together because the request for shore leave was again delayed due to pending circumstances.

Everything from the Blitz to this point had been a test. A test to see if she would crack. A test to see if a woman could rise on her own merit and not favors. A test to see if she would put her career before a family. A choice that her mother failed to do and made sure that Blakely knew every moment of her life. She gone further than any Systems Alliance soldier had before the true test began and the end goal was nothing that she could prepared for.

The too warm water struck Blakely's body with a fury. That only served as a distraction from her problem for a few seconds any way. She hated the political game. Originally she didn't know the right people, but slowly the right people sought her out. Watching her to see if she would crack under pressure like her father did.

She ran her hand over the controls to adjust the water to a comfortable level. Kaidan was the biggest test of all. She wanted to believe that maybe fortune smiled on her life in giving a companion to fill her lonely life.

It didn't take very long to dry and straighten her hair. She kept it chin length for that reason. Blakely then made sure her legs were smooth. She continued to get herself dressed only realizing now that the dress would be a pain to get off in a hurry. She slipped a pair of crew socks over her manicured toes then stuck her feet into the boot. _Soldiers should have pretty feet. _It was the only bit a pampering she did for herself.

The elevator ride up to the mess hall wasn't too long.

Cinnamon filled the air. All of the smells and sounds of home filled the mess. Not Blakely's home, but she read about things like this in the classic novels of old Earth.

"Mood lighting?" Blakely asked walking over to Kaidan.

"I can't take credit for that." He said. The aroma warmed her heart. He handed her a mug of her favorite Earl Grey blend with two honey sticks for stirring just as she liked it. She remembered the first time he'd brought her coffee and she had to break it to him that the gesture was sweet, but she hated the stuff. "Everything's is powered down. Must conserve resources now that the Alliance is rebuilding." Kaidan slipped his arm around her waist leading her over to where breakfast was waiting.

It was obvious Kaidan put more thought and effort into this date than she. He thought of everything. Real scarlet red roses were placed along the table. He had prepared a pile French toast for them both. As she arrived at the table, she noticed a single rose placed into an empty champagne bottle.

After sitting down, Kaidan gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You look beautiful." He said.

Blakely was nervous. This was their first real date. The talks she had with Kaidan were always in public so that no one "So, about us." Kaidan said joining her at the table.

Blakely careful chewed her mouthful as to now gross him out. Her insides melted at how good Kaidan's French toast was. "Yeah."

"You're admitting there's an us."

"Us? We don't exist." Blakely wanted to see if that would get a reaction out of him. He sat there watching. Damn, he called her bluff evidentially not believing what she said. "Kaidan, we can't exist as long as I am your commanding officer. Are you crazy? The Alliance is just looking for looking for an excuse to bust up my team. Breaking regulations is just handing them the ammo to blow what we are trying to accomplish apart." _Why am I trying to ruin this moment? _"That would mean the end of us."

"I want there to be an us." Kaidan sat up straight intensely focused on her.

Blakely avoided his gaze and started to make a smiley face in the syrup with her finger on the plate. She turned the plate so he could see the smiley face. She kept holding her mouth open for him to feed her a bit more toast.

"What am I going to do with you?" Kaidan sliced another bit of the French toast and fed it to her. "You would allow a little distance be then end." He sat back and stirred the syrup on their plate with the fork. "You don't realize this isn't a fling for me Shepard. If it was, I would have ended it after Ilos and accepted my transfer after the ceremonies."

"Anderson running interference is the only thing keeping you here on the Normandy and part of my team. You think we can handle the separation?"

"If this is real we'll be able to." Kaidan smiled. "I have a little something extra planned for later."

"What would that be?"

"Wait and see. I've called you Shepard, Ma'am or Commander from the time we met. Which do you prefer to be called? Blake or Blakely?"

"Here I was thinking Shepard was your cute little ole nickname for me. Trading one last name for another. Does it really matter?"

"You hate your name." Kaidan sounded surprised. "Is there a story behind the name?"

"I've never preferred it. My mother hating giving up her last name to marry my father. She named me her maiden name." She said. "I like watching you say my name. And hearing you say my name. I prefer Blakely. I've accomplished enough that I don't have to pretend I'm a man on the paperwork. I think everyone knows who I am."

"You never told me what exactly happen to you father."

"You think you've earned the right to know all of my secrets, Kaidan."

"If you don't feel comfortable talking about this."

"Same thing that happens to most promising officers. A mission goes terribly wrong People. Innocent people are killed. You are forced to take the blame even though circumstances are beyond your control."

"Did you have a pet as a child?"

"We're playing twenty questions?" She took another sip of her tea.

"You know all about my past. Well, the highlights anyway. This is the first chance I've had to get to know you."

"Parents never allowed me to have one. We transferred a lot. Never wanted the responsibility when I got older."

"When things settle down I'm going to get you one."

"You going to just pick out one for me. I'd say start out with a goldfish, but you probably should find me something I can't kill."

"I'll surprise you. I'll find one that suits your personality. Besides, it will be great practice for when we. . ."

Blakely loved that fact that Kaidan's self edit button had two modes. It was on or off no subtle lines of grey with him. "Your biotics are amazing." She mentioned to change the subject. "I was there when you lifted that Armature on Ilos as my gun jammed from overheating. You saved my ass."

"I'm not going to allow anything to happen to you on my watch. Not when I can do something to prevent it."

"It's nice having someone watching my back because he wants to and not because I ordered him to."

"You inspire loyalty. People will follow you into the abyss not knowing if they will come out alive."

"There's no doubt in my mind who's the better biotic between us. I hear the Alliance is coming out with a L4 implant. Would you get retrofitted?"

"Not eager to go under the knife."

Blakely's tone changed from cheerful to concerned. "But if it would help with the migraines."

"You want to know what helps with the migraines." Kaidan pulled her closer to him. He took her hand in his placing it on his temple. "Apply some pressure." He closed his eyes. "A bit more. A bit more." He let out a sigh of relief. "That's it."

"Does this really help? I think you just like having my breasts within arms reach."

"I can't do much with them since you have them all covered up." Clearing his throat he added. "Yes. You're a biotic. This helps redirect the currents. It releases some of the built up pressure."

"Sounds like your talking about something else."

Kaidan kissed her. "I need you, Blakely."

She was worried that the Alliance might transfer him to another vessel. She didn't want to admit it to him, but she needed him as well.

"I'm not going anywhere Blakely. I'll be here for a couple of weeks max. Garrus and Tali will shut down that beacon and then the reports are filed. That gives us some time together before the Alliance takes the facility over. I'm an Alliance soldier, but I believe in what your doing. I plan to help you stop the Reaper threat anyway I can."

"With Wrex gone, my team is already coming apart. This crew is my family. I will die for everyone here. You all mean that much to me."

"The team you have built is just fine. Garrus is going to get the job done. He's efficient, but dangerous. He artfully dances through the task and deals with the consequences later. He's not going to let you down. Tali is coming into her own under your command. Then there's Miss Perfection."

"Liara."

He mumbled. "She's an ass."

"Kaidan."

"Asset. Really, I was going to say asset."

"You still don't like her."

"It's not about liking her." He pulled back. "No, I don't like her. She still throws herself at you every chance she get."

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not with Liara. She researching the Prothean-Reaper connection to help us find a way to destroy them once they find a way here from dark space."

"Then why is she always reminding me that mind melding with you was the best thing she's experienced in her entire life. And that lady is old."

"Stop letting her push your buttons."

"She just waiting for me do mess up so she can make a move on you."

She heard everything he was saying but, they hadn't been together intimately since that night before Ilos. Blakely stood up not wanted to argue with him during this precious time together.

"Leaving?" Kaidan asked not sure what was going on.

Building a new family was important to Blakely. She was closer to her crew on the Normandy that she was to any member of her family. Blakely shook her head no. She walked up to him in between his legs. She lowered placed her arms around his neck. Blakely looked at the love of her life. Kaidan always looked so serious.

He grabbed her around the waist halting her progression. "Stop changing the subject. We were discussing."

She softly touched her lips on his. Two biotics getting together was tricky. Tiny currents passed between their lips heightening every sensation felt. Kaidan's resolve was melting. "We were" She pressed into him and gave him the kiss she'd waited on all day.


End file.
